“Forgiveness Is For You!”
Forgiveness is your path to emotional freedom. Don’t allow yourself to be a slave to anger! I can’t sit here and pretend that forgiving someone, who has caused more pain than you can imagine, is an easy thing to do. I can’t pretend that the anger will melt away like snow or that you will all of a sudden be healed of so much pain at the blink of an eye. I can tell you that when you hang on to anger you are giving the other person the power to control your mind, and block your blessings. Your anger slows down and eventually shuts down your progress to the happy and healthy future that you deserve.
In my case, I was tired of wondering and asking why. I was tired of hurting and tearing up every time I saw a “happy” family in the park or an attentive father playing with and showering his kids with love and attention. I was tired of looking at my beautiful little angel and holding back tears because I still today can not wrap my brain around what kind of person can just walk away from a beautiful, sweet, and innocent baby? I didn’t have an answer then and I don’t have an answer now, but you know what…I’m ok with that!
The only thing that I needed to know and accept was/is that I AM ENOUGH! All of my love, attention, and wisdom is enough to raise a beautiful, happy, and healthy child. In order for my little angel to continue to wake up smiling and singing everyday (At 5 am!) I had to let go of what has never and will never serve a purpose in my life. How did I do it? I finally learned to forgive and release the rage. I sat down one night sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I started to write a letter to the person who so deeply hurt me. The intention was not to send the letter but to instead help me release all of the pain and anger I was been dragging around. My letter was over 5 pages long. Towards the end of the letter, I started to read out loud as I wrote. Tears were just pouring out of my eyes, but this time, it felt like a huge weight being lifted off of my chest. I want to share with you the part that I read out loud and helped me finally let go and breathe again.
“I forgive you for not being the man who you created and for years pretended to be. I forgive you for being an insensitive, immature, disrespectful coward. I forgive you for walking away and leaving me alone with an infant. I forgive you for all the lies, pain, suffering and humiliation that you have caused. I forgive you for leaving me with the pain of one day having to explain to our child why you were not there. I forgive myself for looking the other way in my rose-colored glasses, and not giving my angel the father that I was blessed with. I now understand and accept that it was not my fault. I also understand and accept that I can not place the blame on you either. You were in over your head and never qualified or emotionally equipped to take on, maintain, respect, honor and protect your role as a father or the head of a household. I knew this but still prayed for a different outcome. Through all of the hurt, I finally figured out that sometimes “the blessing IS the breakup.”
Dear Independent (Single) Mom reading this right now, I want you to read this next paragraph out loud.
I will not look back or relive the past anymore. I will not allow anger to live in my head or my heart or cloud my child’s sunshine! I will release all emotions that are currently anchoring me to the past.
There are just too many beautiful blessings out there waiting for you! I am ready to receive them! I hope you are too.
No matter how hurt and angry you are you have to let it go and forgive! Please trust and believe that there are some awesome guys out there. No, I don’t know where they are? LOL, I do know that they exist just like we exist. Single moms and single dads with similar stories are everywhere! Some are hiding, some are still healing, and some are ready to get back out there and try again. Give yourself permission to be happy again.
“Forgiveness Is For You!”